Thursday, September 10, 2015

No Bikes On Sidewalks!

The Powers That Be here at my university have been trying to figure out how to keep bike riders from killing pedestrians on campus sidewalks, a worthy goal. These young people are lunatics on their bikes. (I, on the other hand, am a paragon of caution and consideration.) It's a tough problem. The obvious way to do it would be to impose a speed limit, maybe 5 mph. Ha ha ha. The other obvious way to do it is to ban bikes from the sidewalks.

I would have said ha ha ha to that, too, except that the signs just went up: "It is ILLEGAL to ride bikes on the sidewalk. Your bike will be impounded if you ride on the sidewalk." My first reaction was good luck with that. I can just see a herd of bike-mounted police officers chasing after sidewalk riders. Or perhaps roadblocks to catch offenders. And then the obvious question: Where are the thousands of bike riders going to ride, if not on the sidewalk? The Powers That Be say that they should ride in the (only partially existent) bike lanes and to the right on roads without bike lanes.

A few observations: First, Michigan law says that bikes can ride two abreast. Is that going to be OK? Michigan law also says that bikes can ride to the left in the left lane when there are two lanes in the same direction. Is that going to be OK? What about when bikes want to turn left from a bike lane that's on the right-hand side of the road. Cut across traffic? Turn left from the right lane? And what is the likelihood that bike riders will ride all the way around the one-way circle drive to get to their building that's "just over there"? Not a chance. They'll ride the wrong way in the bike lane, a la NYC. And what will the campus streets be like with thousands of bike riders? It will be Peking in the 20th century: Wall to wall bikes. I actually like the idea. The car drivers won't be so crazy about it. Too bad. They can bike to campus. Except there are no bike lanes or paths that go to campus from the south, east, or north. Mixed messages. Don't drive to campus because there's no parking. Don't bike to campus, because there's no safe way to do it. We don't want you to have a discount to take the bus to campus, either.

So I am going to start following the rules. I shall take my proper place in traffic. I shall wait at stop lights and stop signs. I shall avoid sidewalks. When I turn left, I'll move over to the left lane. Let them honk! I wish I had a sign that says "Don't Blame Me!"

3 comments:

  1. 1. In a rational world, bike riders would ride slowly and thoughtfully on sidewalks giving peds full right of way and plenty of room and there would be no troubles.
    2. In our world, I do think bikes should be on the roads. The more the merrier. I do often come to a stop, and wait for the light change to turn left. Not always.
    3. There def should be two way bike lanes on the circle. Riding all the around is not fair.
    4. World's a changing. Huzzah!

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  2. Amen, Chester. You are well known for your strong advocacy for bikers' rights and responsibilities.

    I do have the perfect solution: First, ban multi-gear bikes. Second, only allow bikes that have front chain ring of 24 teeth and a rear sprocket of 34 teeth. Such a bike can be ridden up a vertical wall, but can only go about 5 mph on the flat.

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